Thursday, July 30, 2009

Review (Fancy imported variety): Batman: The Animated Series episode "The Clock King"

Note: When I wrote this review, it was not with this blog in mind. I was in a more aloof state of mind in a more casual environment. I assure, feature reviews dedicated to this page will be more professional. Though I may, at my discretion, repost more reviews from my forums site at a later date. With that in mind, enjoy the following.

The episode starts off innocently enough, people in a subway, standing around waiting for the train and a rather impatient looking man remarks the trains arrival. This gentleman, Temple Fugate, is justly bothered by Ma- I'm sorry, Attorney Hamilton Hill not remembering his name after taking the same train everyday for *ahem* one year, seven months and thirteen days. Seriously, Hammy. Fugate is a stickler for time and promptness. Apparently Fugate is further bothered by a very important court hearing today concerning his company. Hill suggests taking his coffee break *GASP* fifteen minutes later.

Still a little uptight, Fugate takes Ham's advice and goes outside, much to his secretary's surprise OHMYGODHISPAPERS!!! Those punk kids, I can't watch. After fishing his papers and himself out of the pond, Fugate arrives at court, late, to find the hearing over. As if the poor guy hasn't been through enough, loosing his company and ruining his career, the Judge remarks "Perhaps this will teach you to be on time for a change."

Seven years later- Oh, and it's 8:57, BTW- malfunctioning lights cause a fender-bender and traffic to clog up, including Bruce and now-Mayor Hammy. I must point out how no matter where he is, Bruce always talks in his Batman voice when speaking privately with Alfred. I love this little added touch in the series. Bruce smells trouble, and a big Ham-tastic campaign poster drops down on a building, and oh how they laugh at Mayor Over-the-Hill. (not my words) Batman races up the building and lo and behold: it's Fugate! I love this dude, he tosses an exploding pocket watch at Batman, clearly not even aiming for him, then walks away. His style is showcased even more after he does a delightful flip off the building, landing on the 9:15 train he just mentioned was always six minutes early. Yeah, he's better than you.

Alfred drives Batman to the Traffic Light headquarters. (I dunno what it's called, and this sounds cooler) I guess the Batmobile wouldn't be to discreet, would it? He finds a very expensive watch was used on an explosive. After some smooth detective work, Batman checks out Fugate's house, and man, that's a lot of clocks. Wait! The time locks on a bank have lost power. Fugate! Batman investigates, but gets caught in a clever trap. A timed pump is removing all the air from the bank vault, he can't cut through the door, and the box is rigged to blow if bothered. Pretty smart, I mean, for a villain.

Elsewhere, Hammy's little train opening is fubar. TWO trains come, and collide in the station. Hamster is shanghaied. Using the tape from a taunting recorder, BatGuyver winches the box to the door, and throws a batarang at it with the remainder of his strength, and is free. At the tower, Hill is strapped to the hour hand of Gotham clock tower. At 3:15, the time Ham-man suggested Fugate take his coffee break, the hands of the tower will crush Hillton Haming. Bats show up and a classic rumble-in-a-clock tower fights breaks out, and Fugate actually fairs pretty well against Batman. But The Dark Knight tricks Fugate into jamming the clock's gears with his sword/cane. Fugate is lost, but Batman manages to save Hammy from the hands falling. Batman laments that it's only a matter of time the Fugate returns.

My final thoughts: CLOCK PUNS! CLOCK PUNS EVERYWHERE! I can stand them up until the last one by Batman. That just, I dunno, breaks the cogs in my head. Anyway, I must say I do enjoy the Clock King. He's one of my favourite villains and the way he fights Batman, by knowing exactly how long each of his moves take and matching/dodging them, is pretty cool considering most villains in shows nowadays are savages from outer space that shoot concentrated kill-beams from their nipples. And Fugate was really not even a criminal like Batman's other rouges, just a mentally broken man out for revenge after his life was ruined. Hamarama is kinda a jerk, too.

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